Cuz my email wouldn't work

Dear Kat

Sorry for the delay in response, email retarded and slower than molasses in january.

My take on your assessment and handling thus far of Mana's sojourn in your house is that you are doing the right. So continue on with my support blessing and gratitude. Its clear you know just how to handle it.

I empathize with your ire at having a 25 year old behave like an eleven year old. No doubt Pepe is more mature than Mana in many respects? I had a friend (Lolo) crashing at my pad-- remember the 40 year old with mental issues in a wheelchair? Well my well of energy ran dry and I had to kick him out. He is making progress. I think Mana will regret his behavior that is leading him to getting the boot, but Kat the boot shouldn't be spared. Based on all you've conveyed--the repeated dismissal on his part of certain groundrules (no vika, curfew, court compliance) coupled with his irresponsible drinking and driving, is valid grounds for the BOOT! Kick him, he is a sweetheart, but not worth the energy, he still carrying that tweaker energy that doesn't give a shit about anything, sucks sucks sucks. And you need to care and comfort yourself specially the bumpy start of 2008.

How fucked up that false vika's little boy home alone. That is inexcusable and your vocal input to her parents and court would be a clear and invaluable contribution to her kid's welfare....she manipulative has obviously wormed way out of all responsibility or discipline. She needs her tubes tied, mention that to Mana, and I'm telling you that if she has any kids to him that I will adopt them because she is unfit mother. But by the sounds of it they are a dead end pair and will likely both fail their court ordered programs and end up back in Jail.

I received all your three prior emails, and I think you underestimate your ability to meditate. We all do it innately as babies and kids. We just learn to think and over think. Shutting it off IS possible. WIth that being said, I have managed to meditate for the odd 5 minutes here and there, but it is like a well and I enjoy it. Also when you write I can feel you are engaged in a contemplative meditation -- meditation is just that same flow, but minus the setting down of thought....thoughts flow, they are observed but the practical response is to observe and let pass, not react, and its that non-reactive practice that defines meditation. I know my mind is a monkey, but each 5 minutes of observing it lightens my spirit's identification with that monkey going mad. =)

I miss you and hey if I am in Hawaii and you want to go to any retreat- meditation or otherwise (yoga?) I will watch the kids and house and dogs. By the way the bloody saga of dogs the other night sounded horrific. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

Hot today again, humid and am going to take a swim at the ocean pool. Headed to Auckland on Thursday for my meeting next monday with supervisors. Work sounds demanding in your corner. I'm awed by your energy, and see you as one skilled Mama. Give him the boot. I'm sort of ashamed for him, to continue that behavior its a disrespect to you, and I'm sorry that he didn't step up to the plate like a real man. I blame false Vika and her inability/ignorance of embracing Real Life (in her case her motherhood) and hence Real Womanhood. Mana will never reach his true manhood with a false Vika. They both are selling their birthrights for a mess of pottage. And you can tell him I said that (reference the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau. The farm is still waiting, and it breaks my heart. =(

But you inspire me - I know you are a true woman. True men are hard to find, but certainly you have run into some, though maybe nurture their inner boy brat, I wonder because I do that. Teach Mana to be a man. I hope he dumps false vika.


Love
lani