11.04.2008

Mangere means lazy winds


Mangere means "lazy winds" in Maori language. My good friend Chikako and I hiked up Mangere Mountain, which has another name in Maori, but I forgot it. Its a mountain that I pass when I ride the bus from Mangere into Auckland city centre. Its the mountain that when one hikes it, can see old volcano craters. I also saw rabbits, heard birds that sang beautifully, and walked upon the crater ridge to reveal 360 degree views. In my humble opinion this mountain is the most magnificent heartbeat of the Southlands...really! Before I climbed it, I felt compelled to, but didn't want to alone. Thank god for friends we can drag along on our adventures which we do not want to approach alone!

One love,
Lanigirl

10.31.2008

Spa Day

Had a great experience at the Moana ki Nui a Kiwa leisure centre here in Mangere. I surely felt leisurely as Chikako and I joined about twenty elders in a tai chi course taught, and my joints do feel GOOD:

HEre's the principles for Tai Chi (beginners) (from handout):

1. Make your movements slow, even and continuous...control your movements.
2. Move as though there is a gentle resistance. (cultivates your inner force).
3. Be aware of your weight transference. (Centre yourself, control your balance).
4. Body Alignment - keep body in upright position.
5. Loosening the joints...(Try consciously and gently stretch most joints from within, almost like an internal expansion of the joints).
6. Mental Focus. integrate external and internal...

10.26.2008

A garden story

I hold a bouquet of pink roses in my hand. Plucked from a leaning rose bush vine that was weighted down with full bloom roses full of rainwater from this afternoon.
The responsible gardener is my aunty pisila who has a green thumb, like my aunty valu and my dad. Aunty valu's giant hibiscus stunned the eye, large bonnets of color that grew out forth from green foliage, on bushes that lined the chain link fence around the canary yellow house that now houses my cousin kase and her kids. Down the street is aunt manu's house, they have lived there since the 1970s when they first immigrated to utah from hawaii...and before that tonga. And one block beneath that, is Ramona Avenue where grandma 'ofa lives...her and grandpa vai bought the house when they first came to utah. last i was there, the meticulously manicured gardens were said to be the work of my dad's eldest brother, uncle hoko.

Life Writing

An umbrella term, that usefully doubly eclipses 1. the muddled arguments around the fictive non-concrete, constructed, narrative "I" (self, other, subject) of/in autobiography, and 2. the notion that autobiography is non-fiction...

and, emphasizes the texts themselves which may include diary, journal, travelogue, daybook, letters, poems, essays, testimonios, confessions, etc. etc. which are ALL biography in the literal sense, a WRITING of LIFE...

...and allows focus on the writing body....

10.24.2008

Opening of Tongan Parliament




I went to the opening of parliament, and dragged soni along with me. First we had to get permission from the probation office because the guy was on probation for something. Here are some photo's from the parade, you can see HRH Princess Pilolevu looking magnanimously on the school children, who's uniformity in marching was really amazing. The Tongan people reach a level of conformity that is truly amazing. Usually. Of course there are the deviants. Like soni. Like myself, and many others, but on the whole, the marching, parades, the repetetive nature of the landscape, the eternal rhythms of the islands, waves, seascapes, and the same food stuff, have created Tonga...

words....

Ta'e Lata

Writing is such an ordeal. I'm currently in Auckland, back living with Aunty Pisila in Mangere. Been working for 5 weeks now on writing chapter 1 and revising 2. Now the term "life writing" has come to define my project. About writing, well, its a magic thing isnt it. It drives me crazy sometimes. I have been writing lots. And feeling unbalanced! Not to worry, just part of the game.I'm getting anxious. I feel displaced. I am, in other words ta'e lata. Ta'e lata means the end of lata - lata means something to do with physical comfort, and sense of rootedness. I feel the greyness of Auckland skies as pressure upon my mind.

I'm meant to turn in two chapters next week. So far so good, but just a wee bit overwhelmed at the entire project.

10.23.2008

Portraits





I'm writing some portraits on Lolo and Soni. Here's some flicks, the top one I took of my husband Salesi in our apartment known as Sailoame in 2008. Charlie took the next two, of Soni Ngaue and Soni and his brother Ngaue, taken in Fanga in 2008. I took the bottom one of Lolo Mataele, in front of some Fanga shops.

7.05.2008

Happy Fourth of July

Happy fourth of july, as you may know, "Independence Day".... i have always known the 4th of July, 1776 as the birthday of the united states of america, when a document known as The Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, thus creating along with other symbols and texts, a written covenant, a "national imaginary". Here is an excerpt from this beautiful piece of writing:

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. "


I texted my dear friend Rachel in Northern California, she and her family had just been at a parade to celebrate the holiday. My brother Maui was watering maize in Salt Lake City. I am with the Homesteaders in Hau'ula, getting ready to eat lots of good me'a kai, am watching a Steven Seagal movie marathon on cable and just chilling before I leave TONIGHT to Aotearoa... and then on Monday July 7th arriving in Tongatapu...Can't wait!!!

The Steven Seagal movie is about a couple guys escaping from prison, and its long, and melodramatic, and what I'd expect on Spike TV! A whole station dedicated to B movies and B advertisements of "things you don't need" says Kat!

Where I long to be....Just "be"! Home is where the heart is...and other thoughts! My brain is on fire, and my legs getting numb...itching to go, and still stuff to pack...what stuff, that rules the senses. My stomach is still recovering slowly from the bottle of wine I drank yesterday to make a think twice decision: once while sober, once while not, and see which one rules!! Unless one gets the same answer twice, its not a think twice decision...Well I read that in one of these therapy books that lines 2 whole rows of Mom's bookshelf, and I believe it was called "The Road Less Traveled part II"...by that one guy...

So the journey continues. I am so excited right now, and butterflies in my stomach...must go eat..

I rifled through a boxes of family history documents here at Malu Malu 'o Paini, finding letters, which will frame up my autobiography....and that's pretty much what I did on my summer month in Hau'ula....besides hiking, swimming and not a whole lot else!

6.30.2008

Notes From "A Case of Unusual Autobiographical Remembering", by Elizabeth S. Parker, Larry Cahill & James L. McGaugh, NEUROCASE (2006) 12, 35-49

....Beginning to think about writers and memory for my chapter on autobiography.....

Abstract:
This report describes AJ, a woman whose remembering dominates her life. Her memory is “nonstop, uncontrollable, and automatic.” AJ
spends an excessive amount of time recalling her personal past with considerable accuracy and reliability. If given a date, she can tell you
what she was doing and what day of the week it fell on. She differs from other cases of superior memory who use practiced mnemonics to
remember vast amounts of personally irrelevant information. We propose the name hyperthymestic syndrome, from the Greek word
thymesis meaning remembering, and that AJ is the first reported case.




My notes:

So, just what is "unusual autobiographical remembering"?


At age twelve, this woman "became aware that she was able to vividly recall the details of the year before and exact dates"

"In contrast to the vast literature on impaired memory and
the amnesic syndrome, relatively little is known about
forms of superior memory. Previously reported cases of
superior memory seem to have in common the ability to
perform memory feats with meaningless information such
as learning long displays of words or digits and repeating
them back. None were reported to have superior autobio-
graphical memory or to be bothered by constant remember-
ing of personal experiences." (36)

-Diaries-
"From the age of 10 to the age of 34, AJ kept diaries, nearly
every day. Her diaries were various forms of scheduling cal-
endars with small entry areas, some just one inch by one inch.
Some years, her entries were completely filled with writing
so micrographic that even AJ read them to us with great diffi-
culty. Other years, her entries were less detailed, and more
readable, with 6–7 brief entries per day. She said that she was
“obsessed with writing things down” because things would
stay in her mind if she didn’t write them down in her diary. It
made her feel better to have things written down. She said she
rarely went back to review them. These diaries provided a
resource for our verification of her recollections. " (38)


"She says she can recall her
brother’s birth when she was three years, nine months old.
According to AJ she had always had a richly detailed mem-
ory for episodes but there was a change in her memory when
at age eight her family moved from the east coast to the west.
She reports she had loved their life in the east and did not
want to move. She says she was “traumatized by the move”
and that after the move she started to “organize her memo-
ries,” making lists of friends from back east, looking at pic-
tures of her house and thinking about the past “a lot.” She
states that after the move, her memories became “clearer.”
"She says her personal memories are vivid, like a running
movie and full of emotion." (39)

"One way to conceptualize this phenomenon is to see AJ as
someone who spends a great deal of time remembering her
past and who cannot help but be stimulated by retrieval cues.
Normally people do not dwell on their past but they are ori-
ented to the present, the here and now. Yet AJ is bound by
recollections of her past. As we have described, recollection
of one event from her past links to another and another, with
one memory cueing the retrieval of another in a seemingly
“unstoppable” manner. According to one theory, it takes a
special neurocognitive state to enable present stimuli to be
interpreted as such cues. Such a state is called episodic
retrieval mode and refers to the orientation of the subject as
she focuses on past happenings (Tulving 1983, 1999). " (46)

"She is dominated by her constant, uncontrollable remembering,
finds her remembering both soothing and burdensome, thinks
about the past “all the time,” lives as if she has in her mind “a
running movie that never stops”..." (46)

"Give her an opportunity to recall one event and there is a spreading activation of rec-
ollection from one island of memory to the next. Her retrieval
mode is open, and her recollections are vast and specific.
There has been research on brain regions involved with epi-
sodic retrieval mode, but not on superabundant autobiograph-
ical memory as it has not been identified before." (46)

link to article: http://today.uci.edu/pdf/AJ_2006.pdf

6.11.2008

stuff 2 contemplate


Searching for Vaka

Destination Hawai'i

I'm on my way to the homeland Hawai'i, I leave 2mw on vakapuna. Right now I am in Aotearoa, where the air is chilled and the skies grey as usual. The short stay had me in good moods, as I walked along Queen Street with my ipod pounding tunes into my ears. My meeting with my supervisor went great, and the exhaustion in my skin is starting to dissipate as I near the Homestead, the Pele Farm, and 'ohana bloodlines. I left Tonga on Monday night, apprehensive and sad at departing from the man I love, Salesi Kauvaka...For the past nine months he has been the best friend I have, and I have been the apple of his eye, which is a twinkle of a star, and a ray of hope. Love honors me with his presence in my life. He is real life and spirit with mana that makes me feel alive, mana that combines in me and nourishes me in body, mind and soul. I share his breath that weaves into a reality known from before! In other words, I love this man and pray that his life flies and swims in the deep blue. In other words, no words can truly convey the love 'ofa that I feel. Which is why I am sad at leaving on my lonely vaka. But this canoe Goddess has found her vaka side by side with a God who carries the mana necessary for the journey...