....Beginning to think about writers and memory for my chapter on autobiography.....
Abstract:
This report describes AJ, a woman whose remembering dominates her life. Her memory is “nonstop, uncontrollable, and automatic.” AJ
spends an excessive amount of time recalling her personal past with considerable accuracy and reliability. If given a date, she can tell you
what she was doing and what day of the week it fell on. She differs from other cases of superior memory who use practiced mnemonics to
remember vast amounts of personally irrelevant information. We propose the name hyperthymestic syndrome, from the Greek word
thymesis meaning remembering, and that AJ is the first reported case.
My notes:
So, just what is "unusual autobiographical remembering"?
At age twelve, this woman "became aware that she was able to vividly recall the details of the year before and exact dates"
"In contrast to the vast literature on impaired memory and
the amnesic syndrome, relatively little is known about
forms of superior memory. Previously reported cases of
superior memory seem to have in common the ability to
perform memory feats with meaningless information such
as learning long displays of words or digits and repeating
them back. None were reported to have superior autobio-
graphical memory or to be bothered by constant remember-
ing of personal experiences." (36)
-Diaries-
"From the age of 10 to the age of 34, AJ kept diaries, nearly
every day. Her diaries were various forms of scheduling cal-
endars with small entry areas, some just one inch by one inch.
Some years, her entries were completely filled with writing
so micrographic that even AJ read them to us with great diffi-
culty. Other years, her entries were less detailed, and more
readable, with 6–7 brief entries per day. She said that she was
“obsessed with writing things down” because things would
stay in her mind if she didn’t write them down in her diary. It
made her feel better to have things written down. She said she
rarely went back to review them. These diaries provided a
resource for our verification of her recollections. " (38)
"She says she can recall her
brother’s birth when she was three years, nine months old.
According to AJ she had always had a richly detailed mem-
ory for episodes but there was a change in her memory when
at age eight her family moved from the east coast to the west.
She reports she had loved their life in the east and did not
want to move. She says she was “traumatized by the move”
and that after the move she started to “organize her memo-
ries,” making lists of friends from back east, looking at pic-
tures of her house and thinking about the past “a lot.” She
states that after the move, her memories became “clearer.”
"She says her personal memories are vivid, like a running
movie and full of emotion." (39)
"One way to conceptualize this phenomenon is to see AJ as
someone who spends a great deal of time remembering her
past and who cannot help but be stimulated by retrieval cues.
Normally people do not dwell on their past but they are ori-
ented to the present, the here and now. Yet AJ is bound by
recollections of her past. As we have described, recollection
of one event from her past links to another and another, with
one memory cueing the retrieval of another in a seemingly
“unstoppable” manner. According to one theory, it takes a
special neurocognitive state to enable present stimuli to be
interpreted as such cues. Such a state is called episodic
retrieval mode and refers to the orientation of the subject as
she focuses on past happenings (Tulving 1983, 1999). " (46)
"She is dominated by her constant, uncontrollable remembering,
finds her remembering both soothing and burdensome, thinks
about the past “all the time,” lives as if she has in her mind “a
running movie that never stops”..." (46)
"Give her an opportunity to recall one event and there is a spreading activation of rec-
ollection from one island of memory to the next. Her retrieval
mode is open, and her recollections are vast and specific.
There has been research on brain regions involved with epi-
sodic retrieval mode, but not on superabundant autobiograph-
ical memory as it has not been identified before." (46)
link to article: http://today.uci.edu/pdf/AJ_2006.pdf
6.30.2008
6.11.2008
Destination Hawai'i
I'm on my way to the homeland Hawai'i, I leave 2mw on vakapuna. Right now I am in Aotearoa, where the air is chilled and the skies grey as usual. The short stay had me in good moods, as I walked along Queen Street with my ipod pounding tunes into my ears. My meeting with my supervisor went great, and the exhaustion in my skin is starting to dissipate as I near the Homestead, the Pele Farm, and 'ohana bloodlines. I left Tonga on Monday night, apprehensive and sad at departing from the man I love, Salesi Kauvaka...For the past nine months he has been the best friend I have, and I have been the apple of his eye, which is a twinkle of a star, and a ray of hope. Love honors me with his presence in my life. He is real life and spirit with mana that makes me feel alive, mana that combines in me and nourishes me in body, mind and soul. I share his breath that weaves into a reality known from before! In other words, I love this man and pray that his life flies and swims in the deep blue. In other words, no words can truly convey the love 'ofa that I feel. Which is why I am sad at leaving on my lonely vaka. But this canoe Goddess has found her vaka side by side with a God who carries the mana necessary for the journey...
4.20.2008
Been too long
Life is blissful and so is the Pacific,
so I chose this skin cuz I have a passion for
te moana and the islands.
I miss Hawai'i and the states very much cuz all of my fambam and memories are there and that's where I grew up . I'm currently spending most of my time living in Tonga except for the occasional trip to Auckland to handle the business of working on degree in Pacific Studies at the University of Auckland. I'm really happy I'm in love with the man I'll spend the rest of eternity with, he's the bomb and I know God made him for me. He has strengthened my faith, and knowing that the Highest blesses me with exactly what I need when I need it gives me joy and the power to get through any challenge. I'm grateful for every blessing and give it up to Jah for guiding my path in the right direction, meeting the right souls at the right time.
so I chose this skin cuz I have a passion for
te moana and the islands.
I miss Hawai'i and the states very much cuz all of my fambam and memories are there and that's where I grew up . I'm currently spending most of my time living in Tonga except for the occasional trip to Auckland to handle the business of working on degree in Pacific Studies at the University of Auckland. I'm really happy I'm in love with the man I'll spend the rest of eternity with, he's the bomb and I know God made him for me. He has strengthened my faith, and knowing that the Highest blesses me with exactly what I need when I need it gives me joy and the power to get through any challenge. I'm grateful for every blessing and give it up to Jah for guiding my path in the right direction, meeting the right souls at the right time.
2.05.2008
Cuz my email wouldn't work
Dear Kat
Sorry for the delay in response, email retarded and slower than molasses in january.
My take on your assessment and handling thus far of Mana's sojourn in your house is that you are doing the right. So continue on with my support blessing and gratitude. Its clear you know just how to handle it.
I empathize with your ire at having a 25 year old behave like an eleven year old. No doubt Pepe is more mature than Mana in many respects? I had a friend (Lolo) crashing at my pad-- remember the 40 year old with mental issues in a wheelchair? Well my well of energy ran dry and I had to kick him out. He is making progress. I think Mana will regret his behavior that is leading him to getting the boot, but Kat the boot shouldn't be spared. Based on all you've conveyed--the repeated dismissal on his part of certain groundrules (no vika, curfew, court compliance) coupled with his irresponsible drinking and driving, is valid grounds for the BOOT! Kick him, he is a sweetheart, but not worth the energy, he still carrying that tweaker energy that doesn't give a shit about anything, sucks sucks sucks. And you need to care and comfort yourself specially the bumpy start of 2008.
How fucked up that false vika's little boy home alone. That is inexcusable and your vocal input to her parents and court would be a clear and invaluable contribution to her kid's welfare....she manipulative has obviously wormed way out of all responsibility or discipline. She needs her tubes tied, mention that to Mana, and I'm telling you that if she has any kids to him that I will adopt them because she is unfit mother. But by the sounds of it they are a dead end pair and will likely both fail their court ordered programs and end up back in Jail.
I received all your three prior emails, and I think you underestimate your ability to meditate. We all do it innately as babies and kids. We just learn to think and over think. Shutting it off IS possible. WIth that being said, I have managed to meditate for the odd 5 minutes here and there, but it is like a well and I enjoy it. Also when you write I can feel you are engaged in a contemplative meditation -- meditation is just that same flow, but minus the setting down of thought....thoughts flow, they are observed but the practical response is to observe and let pass, not react, and its that non-reactive practice that defines meditation. I know my mind is a monkey, but each 5 minutes of observing it lightens my spirit's identification with that monkey going mad. =)
I miss you and hey if I am in Hawaii and you want to go to any retreat- meditation or otherwise (yoga?) I will watch the kids and house and dogs. By the way the bloody saga of dogs the other night sounded horrific. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
Hot today again, humid and am going to take a swim at the ocean pool. Headed to Auckland on Thursday for my meeting next monday with supervisors. Work sounds demanding in your corner. I'm awed by your energy, and see you as one skilled Mama. Give him the boot. I'm sort of ashamed for him, to continue that behavior its a disrespect to you, and I'm sorry that he didn't step up to the plate like a real man. I blame false Vika and her inability/ignorance of embracing Real Life (in her case her motherhood) and hence Real Womanhood. Mana will never reach his true manhood with a false Vika. They both are selling their birthrights for a mess of pottage. And you can tell him I said that (reference the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau. The farm is still waiting, and it breaks my heart. =(
But you inspire me - I know you are a true woman. True men are hard to find, but certainly you have run into some, though maybe nurture their inner boy brat, I wonder because I do that. Teach Mana to be a man. I hope he dumps false vika.
Love
lani
Sorry for the delay in response, email retarded and slower than molasses in january.
My take on your assessment and handling thus far of Mana's sojourn in your house is that you are doing the right. So continue on with my support blessing and gratitude. Its clear you know just how to handle it.
I empathize with your ire at having a 25 year old behave like an eleven year old. No doubt Pepe is more mature than Mana in many respects? I had a friend (Lolo) crashing at my pad-- remember the 40 year old with mental issues in a wheelchair? Well my well of energy ran dry and I had to kick him out. He is making progress. I think Mana will regret his behavior that is leading him to getting the boot, but Kat the boot shouldn't be spared. Based on all you've conveyed--the repeated dismissal on his part of certain groundrules (no vika, curfew, court compliance) coupled with his irresponsible drinking and driving, is valid grounds for the BOOT! Kick him, he is a sweetheart, but not worth the energy, he still carrying that tweaker energy that doesn't give a shit about anything, sucks sucks sucks. And you need to care and comfort yourself specially the bumpy start of 2008.
How fucked up that false vika's little boy home alone. That is inexcusable and your vocal input to her parents and court would be a clear and invaluable contribution to her kid's welfare....she manipulative has obviously wormed way out of all responsibility or discipline. She needs her tubes tied, mention that to Mana, and I'm telling you that if she has any kids to him that I will adopt them because she is unfit mother. But by the sounds of it they are a dead end pair and will likely both fail their court ordered programs and end up back in Jail.
I received all your three prior emails, and I think you underestimate your ability to meditate. We all do it innately as babies and kids. We just learn to think and over think. Shutting it off IS possible. WIth that being said, I have managed to meditate for the odd 5 minutes here and there, but it is like a well and I enjoy it. Also when you write I can feel you are engaged in a contemplative meditation -- meditation is just that same flow, but minus the setting down of thought....thoughts flow, they are observed but the practical response is to observe and let pass, not react, and its that non-reactive practice that defines meditation. I know my mind is a monkey, but each 5 minutes of observing it lightens my spirit's identification with that monkey going mad. =)
I miss you and hey if I am in Hawaii and you want to go to any retreat- meditation or otherwise (yoga?) I will watch the kids and house and dogs. By the way the bloody saga of dogs the other night sounded horrific. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
Hot today again, humid and am going to take a swim at the ocean pool. Headed to Auckland on Thursday for my meeting next monday with supervisors. Work sounds demanding in your corner. I'm awed by your energy, and see you as one skilled Mama. Give him the boot. I'm sort of ashamed for him, to continue that behavior its a disrespect to you, and I'm sorry that he didn't step up to the plate like a real man. I blame false Vika and her inability/ignorance of embracing Real Life (in her case her motherhood) and hence Real Womanhood. Mana will never reach his true manhood with a false Vika. They both are selling their birthrights for a mess of pottage. And you can tell him I said that (reference the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau. The farm is still waiting, and it breaks my heart. =(
But you inspire me - I know you are a true woman. True men are hard to find, but certainly you have run into some, though maybe nurture their inner boy brat, I wonder because I do that. Teach Mana to be a man. I hope he dumps false vika.
Love
lani
2.04.2008
Fanga
I'm at another internet spot in Fanga, this one less crowded, only three youngsters pounding away at Bebo, but I guess the scarcity makes the boy behind the counter think its cool to bump the blaring rap that i don't appreciate - Am I getting old?? I just closed a Bebo page of a youngster who hadn't cleared it before he logged off, part of his introduction: "I'm a crip for life"....Hometown: Fanga.... Had lots of comments from other kids here in Tonga...
I asked Lolo who has been crashing in my front room to vacate the premises, he was too needy, but I suppose I would be too if I were in a wheelchair...it became apparent to me what he meant when I first heard him say "Being out here in Tonga will damage your mind...." My take is that he was unreasonable in continuing to use the excuse that his Aunty's rocky driveway prevented him from wheeling to his spot...I let him crash but he was getting too comfortable, and in my humble opinion not spending enough 'away' hours...after all I do 'work' from home, 'work' meaning meditating and thinking, in alternating (and confusing) phases...Isn't it enough to be cool enough to let him kick it without letting him dominate my household space??
At any rate, walking down here to the internet, he found a new posting spot in front of the Solomone Alipate store, only at the house next door...not very far, and I fear my niceness, or kindness to be taken for weakness. Felt both bad and good about being selfish in my eviction, but relieved if only I didn't see him posting at the storefront of the house next door.
Been trying (and try being the operative verb) to post blogs that will make sense, be good, and reflective...guess I'm seeing it as a chore, but underneath maybe I just hate committing my experience into words....I realize that may be a "problem" to find a solution to, as eventually (God willing) will have to sort through much of my experience the past 6 months to put some words down into a thesis. I guess this is the question or one of the questions of my thesis, something about the written word, ethnography and all that jazz. Just wish I didn't have to sound like a dear diary in this raw form, and wondering how to make it literary, with all that finesse, how to "frame" up it all, "crop", etc...."portraits" I'm thinking will be good....And then the sequencing, will be important too.
Right now I just feel deflated from writing, although I know it good for me and necessary for my health as an over-thinking type of person.
Charlie somewhat impressed I can understand his eubonics... =) Didn't he know I just listen hella well to the feeling behind any sound... Even accustoming my ears to Tongan, yet missing so much vocabulary I can feel it...you know?
Hot and humid. I don't know why the weather report necessary, only mentioning it because I spent the afternoon napping only to wake to soaked pillowcase. Big Lani came by to pick up the DVD Walter left for the commercial before his next big fight end of February. I wonder if he won the fight in Apia last weekend?
I asked Lolo who has been crashing in my front room to vacate the premises, he was too needy, but I suppose I would be too if I were in a wheelchair...it became apparent to me what he meant when I first heard him say "Being out here in Tonga will damage your mind...." My take is that he was unreasonable in continuing to use the excuse that his Aunty's rocky driveway prevented him from wheeling to his spot...I let him crash but he was getting too comfortable, and in my humble opinion not spending enough 'away' hours...after all I do 'work' from home, 'work' meaning meditating and thinking, in alternating (and confusing) phases...Isn't it enough to be cool enough to let him kick it without letting him dominate my household space??
At any rate, walking down here to the internet, he found a new posting spot in front of the Solomone Alipate store, only at the house next door...not very far, and I fear my niceness, or kindness to be taken for weakness. Felt both bad and good about being selfish in my eviction, but relieved if only I didn't see him posting at the storefront of the house next door.
Been trying (and try being the operative verb) to post blogs that will make sense, be good, and reflective...guess I'm seeing it as a chore, but underneath maybe I just hate committing my experience into words....I realize that may be a "problem" to find a solution to, as eventually (God willing) will have to sort through much of my experience the past 6 months to put some words down into a thesis. I guess this is the question or one of the questions of my thesis, something about the written word, ethnography and all that jazz. Just wish I didn't have to sound like a dear diary in this raw form, and wondering how to make it literary, with all that finesse, how to "frame" up it all, "crop", etc...."portraits" I'm thinking will be good....And then the sequencing, will be important too.
Right now I just feel deflated from writing, although I know it good for me and necessary for my health as an over-thinking type of person.
Charlie somewhat impressed I can understand his eubonics... =) Didn't he know I just listen hella well to the feeling behind any sound... Even accustoming my ears to Tongan, yet missing so much vocabulary I can feel it...you know?
Hot and humid. I don't know why the weather report necessary, only mentioning it because I spent the afternoon napping only to wake to soaked pillowcase. Big Lani came by to pick up the DVD Walter left for the commercial before his next big fight end of February. I wonder if he won the fight in Apia last weekend?
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